Mom: I got you Nutella.
Me: mom, you my nigga.
mister-comedy: yeah I go to the club
kaddie: do u ever find a pic that makes u laugh so hard u cant breathe
methlabrador: what if someone tried to rob a nightclub and he ran in and screamed “everyone put your hands up” and everyone was like “yeah dude” and kept dancing
sometimes i dont know who is lazier me or the guy who made the libyan flag
I'M JUST GONNA TITLE THIS ONE 'THE EXPERIMENT'.
WHAT IS AIR? YOU GOT YOUR SEX ADDICTS YOU GOT YOUR GEEKS YOU GOT YOUR FOREIGNERS YOU GOT YOUR ALIENS YOU GOT YOUR BASKETBALL PLAYERS YOU GOT THE PEOPLE WHO THINK YOU’RE HIGH WHEN YOU’RE JUST FROM TUMBLR YOU GOT YOUR VOLDEMORTS YOU GOT YOUR INDIAN PEOPLE WHO THINK OMEGLE IS A GAME SHOW AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST YOU GOT YOUR FELLOW TUMBLR TROLLS YOU GOT YOUR CAPTAIN...
The only reason I don’t kill everybody is because there is no wifi in jail.
The Suite Life of Zack and Cody was a good show And then they made them go on that fucking cruise YOU WOULDN’T PUT RAVEN ON A CRUISE WHAT THE HELL DISNEY CHANNEL
I wonder if Adele’s baby was planned or if it just...
tltty: I can ride my bike with no handlebars noo handlebars no han-
Conversation with friend
Me: Hey Gay friend: Hey Me: How are you? Gay Friend: I’m straight Me: …. Gay Friend: Me:
faggotarian: if u unfollow my blog i will give this biebercola to u u know because regular coke is not enough
A Little Story.
While Gaga was walking around an airport she suddenly stopped and saw this little chinese girl. She knew something about this little girl was special the minute she saw her! Gaga took a look at her hand and smiled. She then got closer to the little girl and whispered in her ear “One day, you’ll be giving me manicures!” Then Gaga walked away, very pleased with her decision. The End.