jesuschristvevo: hey-its-ray: jesuschristvevo: pen15 ;) lms if u get it, only 18+ will understand xD I’m 14 and I know what it means.. nooo….. ur wrong„ only 18+
msjewbooty: im gonna wear like 6 pairs of pants so people will begin to know me for wearing a ton of pants and when i get fat i will slowly remove the layers of pants and they won’t realize im fat they’ll just think i still wear 6 pairs of pants
gooutfighting: now taking applications for my gang, please have your mum sign your permission slip and return it in by next wednesday
fabulous more like im fab, u less
slydig: tsarbucks: slydig: dont be mean be median or mode damn math fandom bloggers
lampsarepeopletoo: they call me macklemore in math class because im like what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what
How to break up with someone
You: Your ex is attractive.
Partner: Which one?
wiitangclan: wiitangclan: the best way to a girls heart is punching through the ribcage apparently this is illegal but dont let it stop you
dietchola: do twin boys have the same penis size?
dankestrnemes: do animals think in english or in the sounds they make
maliciousmelons: we had homework?: the musical
maleteen: if anyone ever breaks your heart just remember they are only human and you can break their body
mattfoundglory: the only reason i wear all black is so i can absorb the energy from the sun and become the most powerful being on the earth
longlivesherlock: whorville: whorville: Which letter of the alphabet has the most water? The C I FUCKING GET IT NOW IT TOOK ME LIKE 20 MINS
nayx: THE GAY PEOPLE ARE COMING RAISE THE VAGINA WALLS *enormous stone walls with vaginas painted onto them rise up from the grounds. the gay people instantly retreat in a choreographed dance number*
dampsandwich: i was born wearing sunglasses
snowllux: the-yolocaust: [STEALS THE BIKE AND RUNS] AT LEAST RIDE IT YOU ASSHOLE
winchesterlicious: My mum just came into my room and said “did you lose a pair of pants?” and I was like “…what” and then she took my hand and gave me this carrot I tried to give it back but she ran away laughing
ostracizedpoodle: mossball: Poodles are so dumb
peclro: if you unfollow me, you wont be kissed by your crush on Friday at 1:30. sorry i dont make the rules.
illkim: *throws $20 bill at stripper* hey can I have the change
tomato-jellyfish: meladoodle: this textpost glows in the dark, turn off your lights i bet you can still see it. ha just a little magic trick i learned i feel so fucking stupid oh my god
breadmaakesyoufat: dontyoulovemebaby: breadmaakesyoufat: GUYS ITS 2:AM AND I FORGOT WHAT OATMEAL MEANT AND I THOUGHT IT WAS AN EMOTION AND I SAID OUTLOUD “IM FEELING VERY OATMEAL” BUT IT DIDN’T MAKE SENSE, SO I LOOKED UP OATMEAL, BUT I SPENT 20 MINUETS CONTEMPLATING IF IT ACTUALLY WAS AN EMOTION AND IF GOOGLE WAS LYING this text post is so oatmeal i hate you
earthnation: earthnation: lol this dumbass moth is flying into my laptop screen lol u dumb moth IT FLEW UNDER MY FINGER WHILE I WAS TYPING IT JUST COMMITED SUICIDE IT PROBABLY READ THIS POST AND GOT SAD IM SO SORRY MOTH IM SORRY U DIED BY MY HAND R.I.P U WERE ONE CHILL MOTH
unabused: i wonder if chinese tourists get upset when they buy a souvenir in america then find out it was made in china
panicr: watchtheskytonight: belaroos: ...
internetexorcism: “sorry you’re not my type” i say to the man willing to donate blood to me as i am sick on my death bed
so-many-feels: deucebowl: If I were a magic wizard I wouldn’t harm people when they pissed me off, I’d just put these really fucked up random curses on them, like every time they saw a school bus they would shit their pants, or every time someone said the word Thursday they would pretend they were a dragon for 20 seconds. i think you would be a very good wizard.
fugrats: read this if u wanna date me
3ridan: riddlersgammon: hyungstrider: if you ever get Sad just throw whatever youre holding onto th ground and yell ‘FOOTBALL’ as loud as you can what if its a baby dont question the man he gave you clear fucking instructions
chickenmcnope: rnackenzie: i wanna make a giant pizza and live inside of it A Pizza Hut